Envy Everlasting
by Melonie Moon
Summary: Harry is depressed when Ron and Hermione become Head Boy and Head Girl. He feels left out. What will he do as he becomes more and more depressed? One shot.


_**Envy Everlasting**_

Harry glared at the shiny, silver badge pinned on Ron's robes. He knew that it was a symbol of Ron being better than he in many ways was: Discipline, education, and maybe even favor.

_OK, _Harry thought. _Maybe that isn't true. But I do envy it a lot. And I know I shouldn't. After all, I'm supposed to be his best friend… I should be happy for him. _But Harry wasn't happy for him. He was mostly depressed and a bit angry. Besides, why should he be chosen for Head Boy when he, Harry Potter, was the one who deserved it most. He was the one who saved so many people from Voldemort time after time. He was the one who even defeated him, almost. He did have a liking for breaking the rules, but didn't Ron, too? He thought they both deserved it when it came to knowledge. They were about equal on that.

Harry sighed. He knew it wasn't just the fact that Ron was chosen for Head Boy. It was also that Hermione was made Head Girl. He knew that most likely the two of them would be palling around, having a good time without him. They would be "off to their duties" together, leaving him alone and sad. He hated the feeling of being left out.

Harry leaned his head back on the chair that he was sitting in and sighed. He was in the Gryffindor Common Room, and it was only about ten minutes until Ron, Hermione and him were supposed to go down to the Great Hall for breakfast. Ron was finishing up some Potion's homework before they went down when he looked up to Harry and said, "Something wrong, mate?"

Harry looked into his eyes and shook his head. "You wouldn't understand."

"Whatever you say." Ron looked at Harry for a few more seconds as he stared down at the floor. He could tell that something was wrong, he just didn't know what. Ron took off his badge and polished it with his sleeve, oblivious to Harry's feelings.

At that moment Hermione walked downstairs, smiling brightly. Her hair bounced off her shoulders, which only made her Head Girl's badge more visible to Harry.

"Hello you two. We better head down to the Great Hall. Ready?" She walked over in between the two and said, "Let's go." Ron put his badge back on and stood up. "Alright. Come on, Harry." The two of them walked towards the portrait hole together. When they reached it, Ron looked around and said, "You coming?"

Harry sighed again and said, "Why don't you two go ahead? I'm not that hungry. I'll see you in Transfiguration, okay?" Hermione tilted her head at Harry and Ron raised his eyebrows.

"Go ahead, I'm fine." The two shrugged and said they'd see him later and then left.

Harry pulled his wand out from the pocket of his robes and rolled it between his fingers. A tear fell from his eye and down his cheek. It dropped on his wand.

"Well," he said to himself. "If they just want to hang around together without me, then maybe I should get out of the picture completely. I'm sure that would make them _both _happy!" Harry thought about all of the great times that they had together, but then he thought about the bad. He guessed that maybe they weren't his friends after all. Were they using him?

"I'm through with them!" He now screamed as he stood up. "Go ahead and hang out together, I don't care anymore. I don't want any part in you twos' lives!" He yelled all of these feelings to the air as if Ron and Hermione were right there. "I'm tired of being left out, ignored, and treated unfairly. Find someone else to torture!" Harry then tightened the grip on his wand and held it higher. He pointed it directly at his heart. He now spoke softer and sadder as he said these words, "Goodbye, Ron. Goodbye, Hermione. I thought you were my friends." He now closed his eyes and said, "Avada Kedav-," but just before he could say the entire spell the Portrait door swung open and someone screamed, "Expelliarmus!"

Harry's wand shot out of his hand like a lightning bolt. Ron and Hermione bounded in as Ron jumped up and grabbed it.

"What do you think your doing, eavesdropping on me like that?!" Harry shouted at them.

"Us? You're lucky we came! What the bloody hell do you think your doing?!" Ron screamed at him.

Hermione walked closer to him, but he just backed away. "Harry, I can't believe you." Tears were falling from her eyes. "I don't understand why you were trying to… to…" She started pouring out tears. She couldn't even say the words "kill yourself". For if they had been there even a second later, Harry would've been lying on the ground, dead.

"Why, mate? Why did you do it?" Ron gently pushed Hermione off of his shoulders where she was leaning on him to cry and sat her on the chair, where she continued to weep.

Harry spoke. "I did it because I was angry with my life. I was too depressed to go on anymore, and I couldn't take it."

Ron gestured for him to continue.

"I was jealous of you and Hermione. You two were always hanging around with each other, leaving me out of things. Then you and her got the badges and it broke me. I knew you'd see none of me. It'd be just you guys doing your Head Boy and Head Girl stuff. I wanted to end it before it could continue anymore." Harry looked down at the floor and sighed in relief after getting all of his feelings out.

Hermione looked up and wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand. Ron said, "I didn't know you felt that way, Harry. Neither of us did." He looked at Hermione and then back at Harry. "We don't like each other anymore than you. If we had been leaving you out, you should've told us. But we won't do it again." Hermione stood up and walked over to Ron's side, nodding. Then Ron said, "We're sorry."

Those two words meant the best in the world to Harry. Better than anytime he saved someone and they thanked him, better than when he defeated Voldemort so many times and people congratulated him. It was even better than if he would've received the Head Boy badge. He was happy.

Hermione went over to him and gave him a big hug. Harry knew that their friendship would never be the same after this. No one of them would forget it. But he at least knew that he had them as friends, and that was a fact.

_A/N- Please review!!! Hope you liked it! _


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